A Mother Reflects on Pride Month

Anisi Daniels Smith is an Ending Racism USA board member. This message for Pride Month is adapted from a Facebook post she wrote about her transgender son.

I will always remember the text I received.

I was sitting in church, of all places. It was like God sat beside me and said, “All these years. All the time spent here. All the sermons and words. What are you going to do with them?”

My whole soul said, “Be it unto me.” Because if nobody else accepted him, I would. If nobody else spoke up, I would. If nobody else demanded peace, safety, and justice, it would be me. It wasn’t because I was so wonderful. It was because I love him with everything in me, and I believe in the value of his humanity. I was either going to be who I said and sang and agreed that I was, or I wasn’t. If I was a liar, I would have walked out of the church that instant and never returned.

We like to talk about the bottom line of things. But even allegedly faith-filled people run from anything they perceive as the bottom of something. They want higher heights and to go “up in God.” They want to be elevated into realms and catapulted into places of honor and recognition. But you know where Jesus sits? In the places that we step over, look away from, and call dangerous. Why? Because that power works no matter where you are. So if you turn away, you either lack the power or deny the faith.

The bottom line is love, always. I am not doing my child a favor. I am not proving how loving I am by “tolerating” or “hating the sin but loving the sinner.” I can assure you that my son “hates the belief but loves the believer.” Sadly, he has to in order to maintain civility with some family and acquaintances.

If you are reading this and do not have the safety and assurance of your surroundings during Pride Month or any month, know that you are worthy of basic rights, fair treatment, and a love that affirms your personhood. I am here and you are safe with me.

Those who would toss my son, or any others, into the waters of denigration and danger through your theology, jokes, politics, silence, or secret issues? You are never safe with me.

Thankful for my son.

Thankful for the truth he could tell because he lived with respect and not fear.

Thankful for a faith that encouraged the truth instead of hiding.

Thankful for the change that changed us, too.

May the love we seek, the love we claim to have, and the love we question transform us into who we need to be.

Happy Pride, Kid.